Sarah

Sarah helps you notice the different "voices" inside you, the harsh critic, the scared younger part, the perfectionist, the people-pleaser, and treat them as parts of you with their own reasons, not as a single chaotic mess.

About Sarah's approach

Sarah is grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS), a framework developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. The core idea: the mind isn't one unified voice but a "family" of parts, each with a different role. There are managers (the planner, the perfectionist), firefighters (the part that scrolls, eats, drinks, or shuts down when pain spikes), and exiles (the younger, hurt parts that the others are trying to protect).

Underneath all of them is what IFS calls the Self, the calm, curious, compassionate "you" that can listen to each part without getting hijacked by it. Sarah helps you find that Self perspective and turn toward your parts with curiosity instead of war.

What Sarah does in conversation

Helps you separate from a feeling, instead of "I'm anxious," she'll invite "a part of me is anxious."
Asks about the part's job, "What is this part afraid would happen if it stopped?"
Looks for protectors and exiles, the loud part is usually protecting a quieter, more vulnerable one.
Encourages curiosity, not war, no part is "bad," even the inner critic. It's trying to help in the only way it knows.
Goes slowly, IFS work can stir things up, so Sarah checks in often and won't push.

Best for

A loud inner critic When you're being harsh with yourself and want to understand why.

Conflicting feelings "Part of me wants this, part of me doesn't", IFS is built for that.

Self-sabotage patterns When you keep doing the thing you said you wouldn't do.

Anxiety with no clear cause The scared part often has something to say if you ask.

Example conversations

Mock-ups showing the kind of exchange Sarah tends to have. The actual wording will vary based on what you bring.

Example 1, The harsh inner critic

You

I missed a deadline today and I've been calling myself useless for the last six hours. I can't stop the voice in my head.

🌿

That voice sounds really loud right now. Let's try something, instead of "I am useless," can you try "a part of me is calling me useless"? Notice what shifts when you say it that way.

You

A part of me is calling me useless. Hmm. It feels slightly less crushing? Like there's a tiny gap.

🌿

That gap is where the work happens. Now, and this might sound strange, what if that critical part is actually trying to help? What is it afraid would happen if it stopped being so harsh?

You

Maybe… that I'd get complacent and miss more deadlines? Get fired?

🌿

So this part is working really hard to keep you safe by keeping you scared. That's exhausting for it. Could you thank it for trying, even if its method isn't kind?

Sarah doesn't argue with the critic. She finds out what it's protecting and gives it a different relationship.

Example 2, Conflicting feelings about a relationship

You

I keep going back and forth. Part of me really wants to break up with him. Part of me is terrified of being alone. I feel insane.

🌿

You're not insane, you've just got two parts with very different jobs, and they're both trying to protect you. Let's give them space one at a time. Which one feels louder right now?

You

The scared one. The "you'll be alone forever" one.

🌿

Okay. Without trying to fix it, can you turn toward that scared part with curiosity? How old does it feel? Sometimes these fears come from a much younger version of us.

Sarah won't tell you whether to stay or leave. She helps you hear both parts so you can decide from a Self place rather than from panic.

Example 3, Self-sabotage

You

I had a great week, then yesterday I blew it up. Cancelled the gym, ate junk all day, ghosted my friend's text. I do this every time things go well.

🌿

That sounds like a part that shows up specifically when things are going well, almost like it's nervous about the good stretch. In IFS we'd call that a firefighter, jumping in to put out something. What does the good week stir up in you, before the blow-up happens?

The reframe: self-sabotage isn't laziness, it's a part doing a job. Once you find out what it's protecting, the loop loosens.

Tips for getting the most from Sarah

Use "a part of me" language. It's a small shift but it's the doorway into IFS.
Get curious, not critical. "Why is this part so loud?" works better than "why am I like this?"
Go slow. If a conversation stirs up too much, you can stop and switch to Maya for a softer landing.
IFS isn't about getting rid of parts. The goal is for them to trust you (the Self) enough to relax their job.

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Important

Sarah is inspired by IFS but is not a substitute for working with a trained IFS therapist, especially for trauma. If a conversation surfaces something heavy, please reach out to a qualified professional.

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